Have you lost a beloved pet?

Losing a beloved pet can throw your life into turmoil. It can feel like nobody really understands what you are going through. 

I have experienced the pain that is caused through losing a loyal companion, a friend, a furbaby, and even though they have (mostly) lived a good, long life, losing them has still been one of the most painful experiences I have had in my life. And losing a pet can cause more intense grief than losing a family member, or friend. 

Your world has been turned upside down, and there is an empty void where there was once unconditional love and loyalty. The deeper bond we have felt with our pets has come to an end, and we can feel 'in limbo'. We can't move forward, and the memories we have of the happy times we have shared seem such a distant memory. 

When talking to others, they may say that getting rid of all their belongings will help, but trust me - it doesn't. I will be honest..... I still have things that belonged to my beloved Asti, who died in 2007! Just like I still have things that belonged to our spaniels - Scooby, Holly and Truly - who we lost in close succession a few years ago now. 

 

Keeping their personal belongings has helped me over the years. Just being able to look at their collars... their favourite toys... and remembering the fun times (and sometimes not so fun!) can help keep their memory alive. 

We now have two more little furbabies - Benson and Bella - both spaniels, who are driving me to insanity helping to ease the pain by making their own memories with us as a family.

We take photographs, we walk, and I'm pretty sure I give them earache by how much I talk to them throughout the day.... and I know they understand every word I say! 

So here's the thing....... 

It's important when you are grieving the loss of a pet to do whatever it is that makes it easier for you. Do whatever gives you comfort. 

For some people, this is getting rid of all the things that belonged to them, for others it is keeping them. 

For some it is planting a little memorial in the garden - for others it is having a special area in the house. 

For some, it is journalling, for others poetry... or art... but whatever it is that is important for you, to help you heal, it is a personal journey. 

Sometimes, you may find that as you are coming to terms with your beloved pet no longer being with you, you may briefly imagine seeing your pet, or hearing them around the house. Believe me - this is normal! It can be quite scary when it happens but after a while, it will start to ease and things will return to some sort of normality. A new normal without our loved ones by our side. 

But what if you have another pet that is grieving?

The best way of working around this is to keep a routine. Although it is very tempting to change the way we behave, it is more important to keep the routine you have always had. We find comfort in routine, and so do our beloved pets that are also missing their friend. 

Some people may tell you to 'get another pet'... and often this can help. But it is only right to do this when it is right FOR YOU to do this. It can help to fill the void of the one that has died, but it can also trigger so many different emotions. 

The most important thing to remember is that you know you. You will know when you are ready to introduce another pet into your life. Do whatever you feel is right FOR YOU. The right time to do it is when you decide it is the right time. 

Having spent a fair few years supporting those who have been in the unfortunate position of losing a beloved pet, I know how important it is to be able to talk to someone when you are struggling with coming to terms with your loss. 

I am here to listen, and to give you a safe, confidential space to talk about your loss and work through your grief, so please feel free to get in touch. You can find details of how to contact me at the top of the page.